Top five tips for new bloggers.

Let's begin.

Top Five Tips For New Bloggers.

1. Don't. Seriously, think twice about why you're wanting to start a blog. Nobody wants to read your drivel. If you're starting a blog in the hope that somebody will read your drivel, then you're likely to be disappointed.
   
2. If you are hell-bent on blogging, browse the millions of blogs out there on the internet, find a few that you like, and simply read them instead. Save yourself a lot of time - don't go to all the effort of posting insightful blog entries, just post insightful replies to entries other people have posted. Or, do what seemingly 90% of the blogging world does and post either inflammatory or plain stupid replies. It's great fun, and if you're good at it, you can often distract a blog for days and possibly even lead a blog to destruction as the author loses patience.
3. Write a blog as if you don't care for your audience. Don't hold back, let them have a piece of your mind. You'll often find the most interesting blogs are full of rants - rants are great discussion starters. Try not to actually abuse your audience specifically though, they get upset. Libel cases are never fun either, so if you're talking about a person specifically, keep it factual. Feel free to make provoking statements that generalise great swaths of the population though. That always gets a bite from someone.
4. So, if you're actually doing a blog, update it often, but not too often. Daily is good. Hour-by hour is getting a bit much, unless it's a quick status update or an observation. 1500-word manifestos every 15 minutes is getting a little obsessive.
   
5. Don't let it get to you. Some clown thinks you're wrong? They're a clown, let it go! Don't go feeding the clowns, they only multiply and then you'll spend all your time arguing with clowns, and who needs that?
   

Is that five? Yes? Good, I was starting to run out of ideas. Once you list "Don't" , it kind of all goes downhill after that.